3-Headed Shark Attack full movie review - For fans of the first movie only, others beware!
In this B movie sequel to the original B movie cheesefest 2 HEADED SHARK ATTACK, a group of scientists are attacked by a mutated three headed great white shark hybrid which then soon focuses it's attention onto a cruise ship full of drunk, brainless college kids out for a little fun.
When the scientists & the kids ban together to try & stop the creature (& not doing a very good job at it!) they come to the horrific realization that such may not be possible, since it can lose a head & grow another three heads to replace the missing one! making it even more determined, deadlier, angrier & hungrier than ever! & that they are neither safe in the water or on land, since the creature can survive for short periods of time out of the water & has the ability to leap high in the air to devour it's intended victims, surviving & growing stronger by the minute by feeding off the pollution filled water it swims in.
3 HEADED SHARK ATTACK is an in name only sequel to the fun & enjoyable 2 HEADED SHARK ATTACK, despite the fact that the same production company that was behind that film is behind this one & the fact that the main threat is a mutated shark, there's very little, if anything at all connecting the two movies, since this is a different shark mutation & a whole new set of characters & storyline. Much like it's predecessor, the film features a few familiar faces that B movie/wrestling fans will recognize, including former WWE/TNA IMPACT superstar ROB VAN DAM & B movie favourite DANNY TREJO (who seems to be in ninety seven out of the one hundred movies being released both to theatres & direct to video/cable these days) it's good that their here, because the rest of the acting from everyone else utterly stinks & this isn't helped much by the card board characterization this film has. None of the characters are even remotely interesting & the action is very static & there's hardly any if any suspense on hand, as we see the three headed monstrosity munch on it's intended victims in many suspense less sequences. Since this film was made for SYFY & produced by B movie hack company THE ASYLUM, we are treated to the usual film-making elements that company has become famous for, inane plotting, a cheap dull look, bad acting, dull characterization, the usual slow motion sequence of people trying to escape danger & terrible CGI effects, indeed the only thing impressive here is the three headed shark mutation, which is quite well done & makes for a pretty convincing monster.
The film directed by Christopher Ray (Son of B movie film-maker Fred Olen Ray) is well directed for the most part, & the film features a pretty fun & funny scene that sees Trejo attempting to fight off the three headed monstrosity with a??you guessed it, a machete! in a scene that pokes fun at his character in the Robert Rodriguez directed MACHETE franchise. Although these things, minus the pretty impressive CGI shark mutant, is really the only thing this sequel has going for it, since everything else is below sub-par. The film is also sadly stocked with the usual cliché's that we usually see in low budget genre fare like this, including a plot element about a couple of characters who once dated & who meet up again after having not seen each other in a couple of years & how they are both still effected by their break up & still have strong feelings for the other.
Disappointingly unlike it's predecessor which revelled in it's B movie cheapness & was well aware how goofy it was, 3-HEADED SHARK ATTACK seems to be trying to take itself a bit more seriously, since it skimps on the usual B movie conventions that it's predecessor so delightfully indulged in, over the top kills, cheap gratuitous nudity, & on screen gore effects, while true there is some gore here, it's all done CGI & sadly looks it too, which is a shame, because if you're going to do a movie as over the top & goofy as 3 HEADED SHARK ATTACK, you should at least go all the way & include some cheap B movie thrills that fans of the genre have come to expect over the years with this type of material. While Danny Trejo is fun to watch, he is utterly wasted in his role, since there's nothing for him to do but sit on a boat for the vast majority of his screen time, in fact you could still cut his scenes out & you would still have a movie! & Van Dam appears from seemingly out of nowhere, trying to rescue the kids off a quickly sinking ship, sadly while their presence here is welcome, the sad fact is is that both characters don't even appear on screen until the film is just about over.
In the end while nowhere near as bad as some of THE ASYLUM'S other made for SYFY movies, it's still not very good. It's to bad really, since there was so much here that could have made it a really fun flick like it's predecessor. Worth a look for fans of the first movie, but if you're not one of them than don't bother with this one. Now question are there any movies made for the direct to video/cable market that don't feature DANNY TREJO?
**1/2 out of **** stars