Essex Boys: Law of Survival full movie review - The Daily Sport gives it 5 stars - so it MUST be good.
OK, first off, my posting as far as I can see complies with the site rules. I have looked back at the original review I did for this and have decided to edit it slightly.
My original was fair, balanced, constructive and above all else, truthful. I posted a footnote on my original review stating that I'd love to hear other movie buff's opinions on it. I am not so self centred and arrogant as to not actually return to see if anyone else had seen it and that is why I have returned regularly and now see in two days flat hundreds of ratings have suddenly upped the film's average score from 4/10 to 7/10. I bet it goes up even more - very quickly, and I think we all know why and how.
As long as gas stations have bargain bins, people will always make these zero-budget crass films and demand normal people pay them for it. But if you try to manipulate things by offering people sirloin and then serving them pig swill, you will alienate people from anything else you ever do ever again and people will permanently switch off. Careers can be ruined, punters will be annoyed and all signs will point to fail. If anything people should be paid to see this film as it is hard work to watch.
Essex Boys - Law Of Survival is one of the worst films I have ever seen. The 'actors' are clearly not real actors, the story is unbelievable, the script is so bad its almost funny, the direction is non-existent and although I managed to get through it, I doubt most normal people with an IQ over 80 and a lack of an espresso machine will. It's absolutely dreadful. OK, there you have it. I will never watch anything by this director ever again and will purposely avoid any films I come across in the future that have any of these 'actors' in because the way this 'movie' is being portrayed by it's undeservedly high site rating (probably by people involved in it who are alarmed at the amount of negativity it is receiving) is completely and wholly dishonest.
Oh, and putting a 5 star review on the cover of the DVD from the Daily Sport is ridiculous as well. The paper ran an article a while back saying a double decker bus had been found on the moon, so who are you and they trying to kid? Avoid this like the plague, unless you are really drunk, high or just love late night freesat horror-channel films, which is the only station on the planet which would broadcast this tripe, because that channel doesn't care that no-one ever watches it. It's not even entertaining by accident.
Do you really think you can stand this up next to Rise Of The Footsoldier? You can't, and it shouldn't be taking advantage of Carlton Leach's reputation to try to make people think it will be anywhere in the same league. ROTF doesn't even get 7/10 on here for heavens sake.
Oh, check out the reviews on this site for a film called 'Muffin Top - A Love Story' to see a slight variation on how and why individuals manage to post multiple positive reviews for a truly dire film. It only takes a click.