Krampus: The Reckoning full movie review - Good Lord this is Horrible Trash
Okay, there is one glaring review by someone who gave this movie a 9 and raves about what a great movie it is. And even states that it is far superior to several other Krampus themed movies coming out this year.
HHAAA!!! I saw one of the others, "Krampus", in the theater a week ago, and I must tell you it was also absolute trash, but it's an Oscar winner compared to this bucket of movie puke! The fact that this certain 9-star "reviewer" constantly praises the young lead actress and the director leads me to believe that this person is, somehow, tied to this movie (probably the director himself or the father of the actress using an IMDb alias profile).
This movie was terrible! Just terrible. It drags on and on and on with very weak dialogue and slow action until a scene finally changes. Sloppy directing and some horrible camera work. I think the director may have taken a home-study course in video production... and flunked out.
Here's a little storytelling advice for the director: The sloppy, white-trash, soft-core porn scene in the beginning was TOTALLY unnecessary and a scene like that does not serve to advance the plot. You just put it in there to try to give your horror movie some kind of substance, and probably a couple of friends a chance to be naked in a horror movie. It was like watching a porn video made by some amateur next door neighbors - and not very good looking ones, at that. So next time (God help us if there is one) skip that kind of garbage. It doesn't add validity to your horror movie, it only serves as a sign of weak storytelling.
And stop lingering with your scenes. They just drag on. Build some tension.
And for God's sake, spring for some kind of real creature makeup effects instead of a lo-res, poorly animated monster. The burnt remains of his victims were more convincing than Krampus himself. And by the way, his name is pronounced Krum-poohs, not Kram-pus. "Kram-pus" sounds too much like "Gramps" and it just really doesn't invoke any level of fear. Do your research before your write or direct a movie.
The young lead actress is nothing to behold, just another face in a crowd of 1000's of hopefuls. I know we all want to encourage young talent, but come on, Mr. IMDb Alias, her acting was not that great. I've seen better acting on Nick Jr. sitcoms.
And the guy playing the lead detective... wow. Did he take acting lessons from Ferris Bueller's Economics teacher? You know, the guy who just droned "Bueller, Bueller" for an eternity? There was absolutely no level of excitement in this guy's voice whatsoever. He sounded like he had a perpetual taking-a-dump kind of grunt to every word he mumbled. Christian Bale did it better as Batman.
Well, in closing, if you're considering watching this, I'd suggest you just skip this piece of garbage and thank heavens you weren't a part of its production. Or you could do your very own MST3k episode with it.