Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children full movie review - Cancer part 2
*Had to log in to a another account to post a review* Anyways moving back to the story line, the skeletons reanimated from the ships come out and attack the now visible hollows.
Suddenly the music changes to like electro dub step thingy genre. The fighting isn't cool at all. It looks plain stupid. The dumb pedestrians still don't run away. If there are skeletons fighting cotton candy and jelly wormed covered 4m tall monsters, you should probably get the hell out of that place and call the cops and not stand there looking at the battle. Anyways, the kids kill the hollows. Samuel L Jackson somehow doesn't know that the kids sneaked into his headquarters (which is a circus or some sh*t like that). There are only 3 hollows left. It's a goddamn headquarters and only 3 hollows are there. What is the hollow population exactly? I mean instead of hiding the kids in the loops, Miss goddamn Peregrine could've just met with other caretakers (called Ingrims) and build an army to fight against the hollows cause only 3 hollows were left after some 6 of them were killed by skeletons, 10 kids and cotton candies, jelly worms and snowballs. Miss Peregrine could've just gotten heat seeking cameras and pistols, rifles, shotguns and give them to the kids so that they don't need a pussy protagonist to do all the sh*t even though he does barely any sh*t. So Jake tries to stealthily snipe Samuel L Jackson with a crossbow, but this dude who probably played COD or Battlefield sometime in his life misses Samuel Jackson by a mile (1.6 kilometers in non-ret*rded units). The little girl who is stronger than 10 adult men throws a bench at Samuel Jackson probably she got tired of Jake's sh*t and n**b aim which causes Samuel Jackson to get stunned. However, Jake misses again (this guy should sign for Stormtrooper). The kid with the bees sprays bees to the hollows which causes one of the hollow running to a nearby pool. Then this other hollow, a girl who turns into a feline (kind of like a cat woman but she grows actual claws and tails) attacks the kids. Samuel Jackson sees this and just says Imma go electrocute them Ingrims for immortality and runs away. Oh yeah, before Samuel Jackson left the area. Enoch just ran up to him like a doofus and got knocked unconscious immediately by Samuel Jackson. The girl with the fire (Olive was it?) ignites Samuel Jackson's coat and but he just removes the coat (lol, what a dumb*ss Olive) and that kid who always tries to look suave but actually looks like a rich spoiled kid who plays COD everyday? he just goes up to Samuel Jackson and projects him with a mini projector. While watching this part, I was like, "these kids are the most ret*arded sh*heads i ever saw." So Jake and Emma chase after Samuel Jackson. He shoots Samuel Jackson but it deflects (man of steel? oh yeah his hands turn into axes and sh*t). Then Emma blows him (not that kind of blow) with strong winds and Jake goes inside the room with all the Ingrims captured including Miss Peregrine. He locks the door leaving Emma alone (really? couldn't he have just told Emma to stop blowing and go inside the room with him?) Anyways, Jake tries to open the cage but couldn't. He is stuck there for 5 minutes until he realizes that there is a goddamn screen about 20 inches big that says OPEN on it. Wow Jake you blind? SO pressed the button and Emma gets tired of blowing Samuel Jackson (not that kind of blowing) and runs to the nearest staircase (seriously? you ran only 5m away) Luckily Samuel doesn't kill Emma and goes to the room where Jake went in. The door is locked but who cares, his arms are like made of Vibranium (probably stole captain America's shield and told the shield agents to implant it on his body) and they can turn into axe and swords. He cuts the door open but the weird part is that I was pretty sure the door was made of metal but when Samuel Jackson cuts it, the door is wood. So Samuel opens the door and approaches Jake. Jake finally opens the cage and let the birds (Ingrams or also known as caretaker turn into birds) fly away. Really? Not one of them stay there to help a teenage wimp fight against a 1.89m black guy who's made of vibranium? Even miss Pergerine ditched Jake (she probably wished he was dead like his grandfather). Samuel Jackson could've killed him but no transforms into Jake to confuse Emma and Enoch who just came into the room to see if he's okay. So there are two Jakes but a hollow approaches to both of them and snatches the fake Jake (Samuel Jackson). Samuel Jackson transforms back to himself but just gets his eyes eaten off. He is probably the strongest character in the movies and has vibranium body and axe-arms. He could've killed that hollow easily but well he dies for the sake of the protagonist-always-winning cliché. Now Jake and the orphanages live happily ever after. Well these kids may have lived happily ever after but I've gotten more cancer from this movie than seeing 1000+ emojis in twitter, Instagram and Facebook. I know people who haven't watched the movie reading this review maybe thinking I'm ret*rded but I really thought this movie was garbage and this movie should be rated 1 at the most to prevent other victims from watching this movie