Swallows and Amazons full movie review - The acting and the script are the worst and it gets more and more ridiculous as it goes on
Based on the 1930's novel, four children sail out to an island near their holiday destination until they come across another group of kids in their own boat which then leads to a series of incidents with a mysterious man living in a houseboat.
Apparently this film is based on a "timeless,classic novel". Unfortunately this adaptation is neither timeless and I highly doubt it will ever become a classic. This is mainly due to the fact that a film that seems to be a sloppy mixture of a bad BBC 90's Christmas special, dodgy Countryfile and the acting and script of a primary school production (but a little bit worse) has and never will be a classic. As you may well have already worked out from the opening of this review, I didn't enjoy Swallows And Amazons. One line of dialogue is "This was going to be a very long summer" and I just sat there and thought "This was going to be one extremely long film!". And it was. It went on and on and on and as it went on the plot and the events unfolding on screen become more and more ridiculous. Yes it's a fictional film and you can stretch the boundaries with this sort of thing, but even with where this film goes it goes well over the boundaries and near the ending goes from about 90 to well over 1004 on a scale of how much nonsense the film is producing. As for the acting of the four lead characters all I can say is it is some of the worst acting I have ever seen by children in a film, even the older ones couldn't act for all the money in the world it's like primary school play, but much worse and ten times more annoying. One stand out child actor in this is the youngest lead who doesn't stand out for the best reasons. In a year where we've seen brilliant performances from younger actors in such things like Pete's Dragon and The BFG, this child knocks down that giant well built and strong tower with a piece of A4 paper. It's one of the worst performances of the year and yes he's a child but still a primary school production with an angry child in the supporting role not delivering his lines properly because he wanted the lead role is better. In fact it seems that the only person who can act is Andrew Scott who is one of the only decent and bearable thing about this film, unfortunately he's not actually in the film that often and doesn't have very much to do.What doesn't help is the fact that the script is unbearably stupid and annoying, all one character seems to say is "I don't like this..", "I don't like that...", "I want this...", "I want that.." and "Let me do this or I won't do that" and it gets so annoying and repetitive and causes the film to become longer and longer than it actually is. And that's about the middle ground of things along with the film getting more and more ridiculous as it goes on. There is so, so much wrong with this film and it get's worse and worse as it goes on.
If you enjoyed the original book then you'll hate this adaptation of Swallows And Amazons, if you haven't read it, you'll still hate it, if you hated the book, guess what.. You'll still hate it! From the most annoying child actors ever to one of the worst scripts ever Swallows And Amazons gets more and more ridiculous as it goes on.
** <-- Two Stars (Out Of Five)