The Burning Dead full movie review - Lava zombies unite!
When abominations meet addle-minded, you obtain this piece of superlative schlock cinema. I'll get to the obvious flaws in basic physics in a bit, but suffice to say that if you are looking for a chilling horror movie, well, The Exorcist, The Shining, Spoorloos are all on that shelf.
Our story begins as we see a cannibal in a top hat feasting on some fresh intestines, ostensibly with his former wife. Apparently the inhabitants were trapped here, under the majestic and august auspices of a dormant volcano, and ran out of food. The year is 1846. Fast forward a century and some years and we see the low-budget (with some heart) cast of characters. Everyone is in a panic because the old volcano is about to erupt again, but they have much to tell us.
Mindy Roberts (Monique Plante), her daughter Nicole Roberts (Nicole Cummins) and Nicole's boyfriend Ryan Jacobs (Kevin Norman) are all moving out of the area with the help of affable Sheriff Denton (Thomas Downey). Thus comes exposition about the family unit and the estrangement of Mindy and her father Old Ben. Old Ben is stubborn and addicted to the Internet through his tablet. Meanwhile the top geologists in the area Dr. Stevens (Kyle T. Heffner) and his assistant Eve Jones (Julia Lehman) are discussing volcanoes, which brings me to my short (and obviously inadequate) physics foray: Lava can reach between 800 and 1200 degrees Celsius. The human body erupts into flames at around 800 and 1000 degrees Celsius. By this back of the napkin math we see that the Zombies could not exist! Not only that, but I have yet to hear of a volcano spewing green, purple, red smoke or magma as cruise missiles onto nearby buildings.
That's the least of this film's issues, however, as the citizens of the area really should have all died ages ago. The sheriff runs around in circles, the protagonists abandon their cars instead of leaving town, the clouds of volcanic ash are barely acknowledged. It's a horrible mess of plot holes, schlocky effects and tugs at the heartstrings.
That said, the hilarity of some scenes makes up for the overall lack of cohesion. The magma cruise missile, the overacting from the zombies, the stupidity of the rangers all give us an entertaining hour or so of B-grade cinema. I haven't even gone into the absolutely brutal and explotivie "blogger/photographer" at the start, who thought taking off her top would be the best idea when about to be engulfed in flames.
See only if you are willing to park your brain for an hour or so.