The Hoarder full movie review - It's that time of year again...
We're closing in on Halloween, which means every horror director on the planet is doing everything they can to get their, more than likely, terrible film ready for release.
Which also means that every bad actor and actress on the same planet, is doing what he/she has to do to land a role in one of these, more than likely terrible films (Hello, Mischa Barton.)
So, we have 'The Hoarder.' About a group of strangers trapped in a storage facility. This has been done numerous times before, and never really reaches it's full potential, because every director tries to do too much with such simple material. 'Storage 24' is one of the more recent attempts, which I have yet to rate/review. Let me just say, I'd probably go with that one over 'The Hoarder.' What really hurts this film, is the characters and acting. There isn't a single likable character in the film, and each actor/actress seems to be hell bent on showing us just how terrible they really can be. I'm reading reviews about how unbelievably bad Mischa Barton has become - and the first thought that pops into my head is, when has she ever been good? Did I miss the single moment in the history of cinema, where she wasn't bad?
As for the rest of the cast - Jamie Bacon goes all out trying to make a name for himself, by being the worst actor in the film, while Andrew Buckley waddles around, chasing people at a pace that is probably equivalent to a crippled man in a wheel chair. Anything this film had going for it, up until you discover the 'twist,' is erased, when you realize you're going to see more of Andrew Buckley's blubber flapping around, as he struggles to capture his next victim.
Random Ramblings of a Madman: Andrew Buckley, please, for the love of Jesus Christ - do not ever run again in a film or in public. I hate being the one to tell you this, but you're fat - and you can't act.