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Xander Cage is left for dead after an incident, though he secretly returns to action for a new, tough assignment with his handler Augustus Gibbons.

Quality: Jan 17 []

Release: Jan 17, 2017

IMDb: 1.0

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xXx: Return of Xander Cage full movie review - The Worst Movie. Ever.

I and two friends of mine spent a lot of money between us to watch this movie today on the day of its release. Apart from wanting to watch Deepika, I had enjoyed the original XXX movie (this one is a sequel), plus I am a huge fan of Vin Diesel.

However I came out of the theatre in a state of total shock! In my life I have watched thousands of movies, be it from Hollywood or Bollywood or from other parts of the country and the world. But today, and I am putting this down in writing, I got to see the worst movie of my entire life so far!! Yes really, I know what I am saying! So please please please ... try not to watch this movie ... it is so bad that it will make you want to cry. Or it will actually put you to sleep, like with the guy behind us in the theatre who was actually snoring within the first half hour itself!

The movie has no story. It is not exciting as action films are meant to be, because the action itself is very cartoonish and very boring. It does not even have a proper climax, because it doesn't actually have a real villain who can pose a bit of a challenge to the hero! Yes it has several stunts, but you get to see most of them in the various trailers of this movie on YouTube. Let me put it another way: the best action scenes in this film are very very bad copies of scenes from the Matrix movies, and the two James Bond movies GoldenEye and Die Another Day. Plus the direction too is horrible, which results in many dialogues not being properly audible, poorly lit scenes, extremely erratic editing, poor acting ... or no acting, cos a lot of guys simply standing around doing nothing is not really acting ... this list is endless!

Last but not the least: Deepika Padukone! Though I have always liked her until now, I still say it is not worth spending money to go and see her in this movie. Firstly her English sounds terrible over here. I have earlier heard Deepika speak English on TV and she sounds smart enough. So why is she speaking with a distinct South Indian accent in this movie ... when her name here is Serena Unger and not Meenamma from Chennai Express ... I mean could she not point out to the director that it would sound ridiculously out of place? Also her role is pretty small and her character is poorly etched out ... and so she doesn't really get a chance to act. And as for her looks in this movie, well, she easily looks much more prettier or glamorous in most of the Hindi films that she has starred in.

So is this a movie review? Naw, it is more of a warning! Because XXX: Return of Xander Cage is so bad that it is not even a time pass movie. I score it a 1 ... out of 1000!

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